Filipino Bacon

A satirical website about the filipino customs and cultures.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I am a Filipino American

I believe that English should be the national language of the United States, and everyone who come to this country, whether from Mexico or Germany, should learn to speak it so that everyone from all ethnic groups can communicate with each other.

If you are Filipino, you must talk to me in English. There is no fucking excuse for not speaking it.

I have a right to listen to any music to listen to, whether it is rap, alternative rock, country, or some college marching band.

I have a right to dress whatever clothes I wanted to. I choose to wear conservatively and apporpriately, wearing appropriate close-toe shoes and wear my hat forward with a logo of my favorite sports team or organization.

Although I am proud of my Filipino heritage, I asssimulate and conform with the American customs and lifestyle so that I can survive in this country.

I would rather watch an NFL game on Sundays than to sing karaoke.

Although I should observe and respect the Filipino customs and traditions, I do not have to wear flip flops, some cheap-ass button shirt, any any clothes the general Filipino community wears.

I live my life and do things my way, whether it is the American, Filipino, or some other ethnic tradtion. So let me decide what is right and what is wrong.

I want to be treated like an individual, not a member of some ethnic or special interest group.

All ethnic-based organizations are special interest groups.

I believe that every immigrant who wants to reside in America should come here legally though customs with a valid passport, get a green card, and find work.

Immigrants can only live to America for a better life, higher-paying jobs, and to escape from dictatorship or tyranny, not to take advantage of the welfare and social benefits.

Immigrants must obey the American laws and regulations. If they can't, they should get their fucking asses out of here.

Every adult over 18 must either work or go to school to get a career, whether it is a software engineer for Microsoft or some janitorial job through a labor agency.

If I want to cook Filipino crusines, I will completely adjust it to the American taste. That way more Americans will appreciate their food more than stereotyping them for eating balut, that nasty-ass piece of shit.

The term Filipina is not an English term.

Filipinos should get offended when someone calls them "flips" or "gooks."

I believe that Filipino women, a.k.a. Pinays, should be submissive to their husbands and to other men.

If you are a Pinay, you cannot tell me what to do or get what you fucking want. If you hate my guts, that is your fucking perrogative.

Every young boy should be enrolled in a sports program. It teaches them character, loyalty, and teamwork, the ideas that are essential for them when they are growing up.

I believe that Debuts should be on their 16th birthday, not 18th just like the American tradions. And it can be held in their fucking backyard, not at some expensive banquet room.

I believe that lower taxes improve and stimulate our economy. That way business can have complete control of their profits.

I want to know where my money is spent, not taken away by the government and spend it on bureaucrats who wanted to spend it on useless shit.

Panhandelers begging for money and do not work do not deserve a fucking cent. They should either find a job or starve.

For President, I am electing a leader with significant credentials, qualifications, and expericence, not a conservative, moderate, or a liberal.

I believe that owning a gun makes you a citizen, not a criminal. It is the responsibility for owners to lock or unload their firearms if not in use, not the government.

I believe that ther should be a Federal Amendment stating that marriage should only be a union between a man and a woman.

I refuse to recongnize same-sex marriage, so you faggots do not like it, tough shit. Do not fuck with my religion.

And just to let you know, I am a Republican.